HOW TO BE USELESS AND MISERABLE
By L.R. Hester
Be Self-Centered: — Bestow all your affection and care upon yourself, seek your own happiness and well-being to the point of unconcern for the needs of others.
Be Demanding Of Others: — Tell yourself that others are obligated to you, that it is their duty to be concerned about you and look after your best interest, and make no allowance for the least failure on their part to discharge this duty.
Feel Neglected And Become Absorbed In Self-Sympathy: — Convince yourself completely that others do not fulfill their obligat- ions to you, and never allow the least doubt that you are a subject of misfortune and pity.
See Only Good In Yourself And Faults In Others: — For every attitude and act of unrighteousness on your part, find an excuse to salve your conscience while demanding absolute perfection of others.
Observe These Rules And You Will Attain To Complete Uselessness And Perfect Misery Forever!
If, however, your aim is usefulness and happiness, then you must do the exact opposite: “It is more blessed to give than to receive,” and remember that selfishness is among man’s most soul-condemning blunders.
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